A friend of mine played a CD for me some 10 or 11 years ago where one of the songs began with this deep, growling, menacing voice that said, “I am….” and then this other voice interrupted and said, “Oh knock it off already,” or something to that effect, to which the first voice, now […]

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Yesteday, in the backyard - a quiet, misty morning. I was carrying three, maybe four logs up the hill to the campfire that occupies the top-left corner of the dark patch in this photo taken nearly two years ago. Little has changed since then; that dark patch is now overgrown with grass and the trees […]

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Ari and I have been talking lately about getting new wedding rings. As a result, I’ve been paying a lot of attention to my current ring. The other day, I was stunned to discover that it’s pretty battered. It was embarrassing to think that I’d let it get that way, but then I realized it’s […]

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I’m about to skin a cat, so if anyone would like to purchase this soft, fuzzy pelt, I’ll start the bidding at one hundred dollars.
You see, it was the cat who got my watch. Four days I spent disoriented and confused, bereft of my beloved watch. And all because El Stinky Cat Breath decided […]

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I seem to have misplaced my watch. Just two days ago I placed it on the bathroom counter with the timer set for ten minutes, at the end of which time Julien would kindly clean up his toys in preparation to exit the tub. I haven’t seen the watch since, although I distinctly remember the […]

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The Texas Book Festival begins tomorrow and ends Sunday. It’s free. Here are a few of the guests for those of you who might be interested in attending: Jimmy Santiago Baca, Sandra Cisneros, Dagoberto Gilb, Fannie Flagg, Neal Barrett, Jr., Walter Mosley, Michael Moorcock, Ethan Hawke, Kinky Friedman, Tish Hinojosa, Neal Pollack (freak), Jim Harrison, […]

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Someone has discovered his willy. And apparently, I’m quite an embarrassment in public on account of it. Seriously though, I don’t do that in public. Okay okay, really seriously….
A littler someone has recently made this discovery. I won’t name names except to say that a few of his nicknames are Dribbles, Baby G-Man Yo, and […]

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So there I am, standing up to dry my hands and about to leave the bathroom, having fulfilled my fatherly duty of washing the elder spawn’s hair, when the aforementioned elder spawn, face toward the foamy bathwater and thus in an acoustically lousy position, utters the following: “Guess what, dad? Today at school, I read […]

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I don’t want to alarm you, but I need to tell you something. You’d better sit down. Take a deep breath and clear your mind. Remember that little mantra you came across a few years ago, the one that goes, “If you never expect anything, you’ll never be disappointed”? Remember that? You might want to […]

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Lunchtime, I granted myself a trip outside, seeing as how the sun has found it in its multi-chambered heart to shine today after its many-day hiatus. I found an iron park bench - one of I’m guessing at least twenty that litter the grounds around the Capitol - just a smidgem north and west of […]

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