I think my house is being cased. I was sitting at my computer this morning, reading my daily reads, when I heard a metal thunk! outside. At first, I thought Ari had returned home. Her dad is visiting from Arizona right now and she took him to work with her this morning. I knew she was planning to bring him back before noon, so I just assumed it was her returning early. I got up to welcome them home.

It wasn’t her. Instead, there were two men standing at my water meter, near the street. One was holding a meter key, one of those long-handled poles used to open the lids. I approached them. The guy with the key who did the talking lives down at the end of my street, at the edge of the creek. I see him all the time. He speeds. He makes me feel like Garp sometimes–I’m ready to get out there with a bat and beat the shit out of his car for his apparent lack of respect for our “neighborhood.” So, I recognized his car and I recognized him. I did not recognize the guy with him, but he was introduced as “the substitute meter reader–your regular meter reader is sick today.” (This is the bullshit he’s feeding me.) What my “neighbor” did, what originally got my attention, was pick up my meter lid and drop it (thus the metal thunk! I heard). He claimed he was showing the “substitute” how to tell if there were any hostile dogs to watch out for when reading meters.

Reg flags: 1) he is a neighbor who has been watched by the police before, and he was wearing a white t-shirt with the sleeves cut off–not necessarily the model of authority; 2) water meters in this neighborhood are at the street, not in backyards where hostile dogs reside; and 3) the “substitute” was not wearing a City of Austin uniform, nor was the beat-up 4-door Chevy they were driving a City vehicle.

I didn’t say anything. They left. About 15 minutes later, I got up the balls and went down the street take down the license plate number, then I walked back home to call the police. A cop came out and offered to go talk to the guy. This scared me. I don’t want the kind of trouble that could create–I have a wife and a child and I don’t want to live here paranoid that my neighbor is going to take revenge on me for calling the cops. So I asked the officer to leave the guy alone, and that all I really wanted right now was to make the report, leave some sort of paper trail in case anything bad happens. He suggested that I also call the City, because they might want to know if someone is impersonating one of their guys.

I called the City. As it turns out, my meter was read on Sept. 7, 2001, which means it’s not scheduled to be read again until October. Also, there have been no “substitute” meter readers assigned to any jobs today. So, as if I needed any more convincing, I now have proof that my neighbor was lying.

I hate this. I hate the feeling that I’m not safe. Even with the recent terrorist attacks, I’ve haven’t really felt unsafe. Not until now. And you know the worst part about this whole thing? The guy who was posing as the “substitute” looked Middle Eastern. I have absolutely no proof that he was. There are so many Hispanics in Texas, and they share some characteristics with Middle Easterners (and South Americans and Eskimos and Puerto Ricans and ….). That is, brown skin, black hair, not too tall, not too short, thin. But because of all the shit that’s going on, I automatically turn him into a Middle Easterner. Isn’t that brilliant? So now I’m paranoid that someone is getting ready to put dangerous chemicals into my water, that this is part of a germ warfare attack scheduled for the 22nd. I mean, that’s possible, right? Isn’t that what the news is saying? Another attack planned for the 22nd?

Fuck. I hate this. What kind of a person have I become that I would so easily jump to these absurd and racist conclusions? And what kind of world is it where I actually hope that they’re only planning to rob me instead of poison me or hurt my family? Fuck.