I saw an ad last night for some new prescription drug–I forget which but it doesn’t matter since the ads are all pretty much the same: great photography, family playing on a hillside, sunshine, flowers, laughter. And, like most prescription drug ads these days, this one contained a voice-over identifying the known side effects. Headaches, abdominal cramps, blurred vision, dizziness, nausea, nose bleeds. What the fuck is this drug TREATING? They never tell you! They spout off some unearthly name like Xexaphidiloparta (of course they say it all smooth like it’s an easy word–probably didn’t get it right until the billionth take!) and tell you all the side-effects and that’s it! I can only imagine that it’s treating some awful thing like leprosy. I keep waiting for an ad to run with this voice-over: “May cause incontinence, internal bleeding, heart attack, lung rupture, gallbladder explosion, spontaneous combustion, hip replacement, and some rare forms of telepathy. Users of this drug are advised to stay away from all moving vehicles and should not do math.” Now that’s a prescription drug.