Starting around October of every year, I begin to think about Christmas as something more than a nauseating retail opportunity. It usually begins in the form of far distant childhood memories of snow and larger-than-life trees covered in lights and decorations. It develops over the next month or so until Thanksgiving, by which time my thoughts have invariably turned to memories of stories told around the fireplace, of Charlie Brown specials, and of the beautiful amber glow of a thousand luminarias lining walkways and roads in rural New Mexico. This is when my family and I begin to decorate our own house with some traditional non-Christian Christmas symbols (you know, Santa Claus, reindeer, lights, snowflakes) intermixed with a scant array of more Christian symbols (like crosses and angels — we do not own a nativity set).

So here’s a month-and-a-half worth of slowly building Christmas cheer. Remember, I’ve been getting in the mood since about October. And then, inevitably, every single year all that good cheer is brought to a grinding halt, taking a fiery nosedive from 40,000 ft. And it’s all because of tv ads for stupid products.

This year’s official stupid product, and the one that has just stripped me of all good holiday cheer, is Hairagami. The tv ad opens on an Asian woman folding origami shapes. The uber-Anglo voiceover says something to the tune of, “In Japan, the ancient art of origami has been around for centuries … now that ancient art can be practiced on hair! Introducing the amazing Ronco … er, Hairagami!” For $14.95, you get two of these “incredible” devices (which make hair into a variety of shapes, one of which is called “sushi” — not joking), a “folding scrunchie” and a “glamour guide.”

Did I already mention that it also comes with a “folding scrunchie”?

I am now going to try and recover what is left of my good holiday cheer, and hope that my sanity is somewhere close by. In the meantime, “Bah humbug!”